what the world [really] needs now...

Lately it seems like there is heartbreak around every corner.  From the horrific events in Connecticut to so many people who are going through personal crisis, it seems like there is heartache everywhere I turn.  I don’t say that to talk about how depressing it is or be a downer, but it’s just very sobering at times to recognize that on my best days, and my worst, there are people going through very tough things and it’s important to be able to look outside of my feelings and my opinions and have compassion.

Having endured my share of personal crises, I know that no matter how public the information is about what’s hurting you, it still is very sensitive.  Even if the whole world knows why and how you’re hurting, the only real thing that anyone can do is offer love and compassion.  The tendency of many is to want to give opinions or advice, which is usually meant well, but is often misguided.  The irony of offering our unsolicited advice or opinions is that often we (a) can’t relate to the situation at hand and (b) giving such a strong opinion that we make the one who is hurting feel like they need to react in a way that is agreeable to us and makes the grieving/healing process awkward.  I’ve seen people who suffered a very painful loss and are just trying to keep going, only to constantly have people bring it up every time they speak, and cause them to relive the pain over and over.

I know that for me, personally, the most hurtful things I’ve gone through, I’ve been overwhelmed at all the opinions of people who offered what they thought were solutions... which only ended up feeling like demands.  For example with my health, I had so many people telling me the remedy that they just KNEW would work.  I was already spending so much of my time in specialists offices and hospitals hooked up to machines, feeling incredibly unstable trying out all kinds of new medicines; and the amount of people that pressured me to try their doctor, acupuncturist, special diet, or home remedy was quite inundating.  Not to mention the way people would tell me how I should and should not feel, emotionally, without me having given any indication that I needed their “encouragement”.  They all meant well, but it became exhausting, and made me very guarded and made me not want to speak to anyone about my situation, or even answer a simple “how are you feeling?”

The recent events in Connecticut really reminded me of those moments.  It’s something so heartbreaking, and the reaction of many is to offer propaganda and their perspective on why it happened, or how we can fix it.  Don’t get me wrong, there are things that need to be evaluated in our current system and I’m not blind to that; but using the devastation of so many lives as a springboard for your political convictions when the hurt is so fresh is not sympathetic.  Thinking of the families who won’t have their child this Christmas and are finding it hard to get out of bed each morning, what they need is compassion, love and support... not everyone’s opinion on gun control.  We should be heartbroken and outraged that this happened, but also sensitive to the people whose whole world feels shattered.  To them, this is so much bigger than a subject to debate, it’s something they’re trying to survive.

This post isn’t about Newtown victims and gun control statements, it’s about sensitivity to those who are hurting. I know that for myself, I close off the areas of my life that are hurting to most people, and only will speak about them with people I know well and don’t have to feel guarded around.  No matter what solution you may feel you have when dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that they’re HURTING!  They're trying to work through their own thoughts and emotions and they don’t need to try and sort out yours too!  Don’t allow your need to “fix it” become more important than their hurt.  When someone is dealing with complex and deep wounds and you offer an overly-simple “solution”, you invalidate their hurt and accomplish the opposite of comforting them.  People forget what you say, and what you do, but they never forget how you make them feel.  Love and compassion make them feel understood, and reminds them they’re not alone.

the gift of “I was wrong"

Something about our generation has brought a sense of apathy that is hard to understand.  Humility and respect are not taught the way that they were to generations before us.  It’s really obvious when it comes to our lack of commitment (I’m not talking about just relationships, but honoring our word and following through).  Everything is about what’s convenient for us, and what’s comfortable.  We’re great at excuses.  

We don’t have as much respect for others as we should, and it’s a shame.  We’ve been taught confidence, and feeling good about ourselves (which is good, to an extent) but left out the part about humility and life lessons.  It’s made us people who aren’t teachable and aren’t willing to humble ourselves and apologize.  And THAT is a terrible problem in our relationships with both people, and with God.

I get so tired of hearing phrases like “Never regret anything that once made you smile” and “Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted”.  It sounds good, and makes sense to us because we’ve lost perspective and don’t see the value in apologies anymore.  It IS important to “live and learn” but if that is how we approach our mistakes, we are missing the part of the process that grows our character the most... the part where we acknowledge that we’re wrong and move forward, trying not the repeat the mistake.

We don’t think our mistakes are that serious, but a mistake is a mistake.  To say we don’t regret it is to say we’re not sorry.  To say we’re not sorry is to say we would do it that way again.  Can you imagine how wrong it would feel to hear a murderer say “I did it, but I don’t regret it”?  It would not sit well, because we want other people to be sorry when they hurt us, or someone else.  We want to know that they are sorry and wouldn’t do it again, if given the chance.  A lot of us say that about our past, ways we’ve hurt people, and the ways we’ve sinned against God.  Grace is free, but it’s conditional, based on our repentance.  It doesn’t matter that it’s done and you can’t change it, it’s still important that we humble yourself and repent.  

If it wasn’t important, God wouldn’t put so much emphasis on repentance.  He’s GOD.  He is all knowing.  He knows our thoughts and whether or not we regret the ways we hurt people, and the ways we sin against Him; but He still asks that we confess our sins and repent of them.  HE ALREADY KNOWS, so why would He ask us to confess and repent?  Because it’s important for OUR spiritual life.  And with people, it’s important to apologize too, not just for other them, but for ourselves.  We won’t grow from our mistakes if we won’t acknowledge we were wrong.  It’s not about putting on sackcloth and beating yourself up, it’s about acknowledging it, and moving forward striving to not repeat the offense.  Regret is only a bad thing if it becomes our focus and keeps us from moving forward.  The right kind of regret, the kind that is tied to true repentance, propels us forward better than we started out.

That’s all I’m saying.  It doesn’t come naturally all the time.  If you’re not an apologizer, becoming one can be a long, humbling process; but it’s one that makes you a better and stronger version of yourself.  It’s easier for people to trust you when you’re honest about your mistakes.  We’re all a work in progress.  Mistakes aren’t what defines your character, it’s how you deal with them in moving forward that defines you.

Inconvenienced by the Rules

Over the last decade, it has become common to express that one is not “religious, but has a personal relationship with Jesus”, and that “it’s not about the rules, it’s about the relationship”.  These things are true, I’m not at all arguing that.  I think that when it’s about the religion to us, when it’s about the rules, that’s when we get off track.  

Legalism does one of two things, usually:  it (1) makes us feel like it’s impossible to please God and live by all of the rules and laws, or (2) makes us feel like righteousness is something we earn, and we get self-righteous and judgmental and treat Christianity like an elite club.  Legalism poisons our perception of who God is, and unfortunately, our legalism can poison the perception of who God is for non-believers.

Jesus explains in Matthew 5:20-28 that it’s not just about our actions, but our heart and our thoughts, too!  Then in Matthew chapter 23 Jesus goes in on the church leaders, how their legalist mindset leads them to “crush people with unbearable religious demands” and never encourage, but also leads them to esteem themselves very highly because of their title-as if they don’t have their own sin to deal with!  Jesus is very clear about how legalism negatively effects our faith.  Our heart, thoughts and attitude are every bit as important as our actions!

BUT, I feel that our generation is manipulating this some.  I feel like we’ve made it so much about relationship and our intentions, that we’re acting like our actions don’t matter, as long as we love Jesus.  But legalism and OBEDIENCE are two very different things.  As a matter of fact, our love for Jesus is directly related to our obedience.  In John 14:31 Jesus used Himself as the example, in saying that because He loves His father, He does everything He commands of Him.  Many, many times, Jesus used the word “love” and “obey” together, because they go hand-in-hand.

If you love God, and are spending time with Him, the rules aren’t your focus, pleasing God is our focus.  When I got married, I took vows.  There are “rules” involved in that, but everyday I’m not reminding myself of those rules, because loving Alex is all the reason I need to stick to those vows.  I can’t even imagine what marriage would be like if I ignored all the vows/promises I made and claimed everything was okay because I love him.  That’s how we should view our relationship with God.  Our obedience is not to some inconvenient rules imposed on us, its to a God that loves us and sacrificed for us and knows better than we do.

This doesn’t mean that if you love God you’re not going to mess up.  It means that it’s your love for God is what makes you try hard not to.  There’s a big difference between making mistakes, and making the conscious decisions not to obey.  God has offered us this grace that we don’t deserve, and could never earn; but it comes with expectation... and that expectation is that we repent, and strive to be better.  When Jesus encountered the woman caught in adultery He told her that He wasn’t going to condemn her, but then said “Go and sin no more”.  He didn’t tell her “It’s okay, I understand, you were caught up”.  He lovingly told her, “Go and sin no more”.

A lot of us don’t like the idea of that.  We’re so caught up in God’s amazing grace and knowing that He loves us as we are, that we think that means it’s okay to STAY as we are.  He implores us to change.  He knows that we will slip up sometimes, but it’s in the striving to be better that we accomplish what He asks.  Sometimes it gets easy for us to think “God knows my heart” and feel that excuses us; and it’s true, God DOES know our hearts.  That means He knows when we’re trying and when we’re making excuses.  Hebrews 10:26 says “... if we DELIBERATELY keep sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left.” ... telling us that if we make the decision not to obey, we’re annulling God’s grace.  We can’t manipulate God’s grace, and pretend to be sorry when we’re planning to keep making the same mistakes.  We can only receive it when our heart is genuinely repentant.  Grace never runs out for those who love God and are striving to please Him.

It’s important that we know that a relationship with God isn’t about rules, and certainly not hinging on whether or not we earn our righteousness badge.  Jesus did that for us. Our love for Him should cause us to WANT to be obedient. 

Contaminated Christianity

I've been thinking a lot lately about Christianity. Not just mine... Christianity as a whole. I've been thinking about the view of it that people who are/aren't a part of it take. I've been thinking about the way that many of us represent it more as an elite club one must jump through hoops to be an honorable part of. I've been thinking about what it's supposed to mean about those of us who are a part of it, that we are "little Christ"s, or imitators of Christ. I've been thinking about how in Springfield, the "Bible Belt" of the United States, we are so religious-minded and quick to condemn, saying and believing things like "God hates homosexuals" and other lies (I'm aware that many "christians" say that all over the country, but just that this is where I am and where I've seen it). To be honest, I can't imagine many things that God would hate more than putting our own hateful words in His mouth when talking to other people, and misrepresenting a God of love to be a God of hate. I was thinking about how when we decide that we are going to be Christians, we wear the name of Christ on our hearts, and on our lives... and it forces me to evaluate... do I wear it well? 

I've seen more of my friends turned away from God because of condemnation then I can count on both hands. I'm not saying that we should tiptoe around as Christians and say that things are okay with us that aren't. Let's be honest, the rest of the world doesn't neglect to stand up for what they believe, so why should we? I'm saying that when we stand for a God of love, how on earth do we expect to convey that with messages of hate. Jesus died on the cross for US. For OUR sins. To tell any person that God hates them because of their sin, is to block them from knowing and understanding the beautiful thing that God did, in sending His son... FOR LOVE. It has burdened my heart lately to see the view so many of us have taken.


The truth is, it seems that the majority of our generation (the majority, not the whole) fall into two categories: either completely doctrine spitting, hate preaching Christians or the kind of Christians that believe that nothing is wrong and all forms of living are fine. It's okay to stand for what we do, we just can't do it in a condemning fashion, without love. The bible says that "If I speak in the tongues of men of angels, but have not love, I'm only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal".... meaning it doesn't matter what you're saying, if you're not saying it in love, you're just making noise. The truth is neither side is right. 

I don't know how the former even believe in God. If they've ever sinned in their life, and they can tell anyone that God hates them, then they must have a very fickle image of who God is. They must be sad inside and constantly feeling like they must EARN their salvation. And for the latter, they are wrong as well. As important as it is to be accepting of every person, we also must recognize the importance of not tainting the Word of God to subjective interpretation and justifying every kind of sin. Homosexuality is sin, but it's no more a sin than pre-marital sex, lying, or even dishonoring our parents. Many people want to treat it like it's a disease, or greater cause for punishment and alienate it as a separate kind of sin. IT'S NOT. God loves a homosexual person every bit as He loves me. And for us to cast ANYONE away because WE don't think they deserve His love is like saying that the cross was big enough to cover our sin, but not theirs. It's like saying God's grace isn't enough to cover homosexuality. I know I've talked a lot about homosexuality, but it's because I recently ran into a horrible example of what Christianity is, in the form of someone holding a "God hates homosexuals" sign... and it was heartbreaking. Like the people below holding these signs.  Even worse, children.  This is what some Christians are teaching their children.  It’s awful teaching your children to tell anyone that God hates them, and equally awful to teach your kids that’s who God is, a God who hates you if you are a sinner.  Please forgive the extreme nature of the photo and words used, it was just too alarming not to pass on, for me.

It reminds me of Angela, off of "the Office". Anyone who knows that show knows she is the stereotypical religious, hateful Christian. She tosses around the names, "whore" and "slut" and was horrible to the man that came out of the closet. It's funny when you watch her, but it's how so many of us operate. I was just thinking about it recently, and remembered that it was never when speaking to the "sinners" that Jesus lost His temper; it was at the people in the temple who were supposed to be Godly and were misusing the house of God. All that being said, I think any of us who wear the title of "Christian", be it in our everyday life or just on our facebook, need to be conscious of who we are representing God to be. That He's a God of relationship, not just rules.

OtherBrotherItis: The Non-Prodigal Son

Soooo, in reading my devotional the other day it directed me to Luke 15... the section known to be “the Prodigal Son” story.  The story isn’t about the Prodigal Son though.  It doesn’t tell the tale of “a man with a father and a big brother”, but the story starts “there was a man with two sons”.  The story isn’t just about the prodigal son, it’s about the father and his love for his two (very different) sons.  Great story, one that is widely used to illustrate God’s forgiveness, acceptance, and His unconditional, fatherly love.  So I read the part that my devotional suggested; then I moved on to the part after that, the part that is less often told... the part about *dun dun dunnnnn* the other brother!  

If you feel so compelled, go read the story.  The well-known part is verse 11-24, but the part I’m referring to starts in verse 25.  If you don’t have a bible handy, and getting it out is more than you bargained for when you opened this link, I’ll give you the skinny:  The prodigal son returns to his father after running away and shaming the family.  He’s dirty, poor, and he stinks, and the father is waiting for him on the front porch, embraces him, clothes him in some nice things (restoring honor) and then begins a celebration.  The other brother, who is in the field WORKING at the time, hears the music and dancing, and then is informed of the celebration of his estranged brother’s return.

Imagine the frustration of this brother.  He was the faithful one.  He stayed.  He worked. He did what a son should do.  He probably had his own sense of hurt and abandonment from his brother’s absence.  Not to mention he probably had twice as much responsibility on him because his brother went rogue and wasn’t there; but he, the faithful brother had never been celebrated like this.  So his lazy, irresponsible (embarrassing) brother returns and gets what seems like more love and appreciation than he got for doing the right thing.  For being faithful.

I think it’s easy to relate to this brother.  I think it’s easy for any of us who have struggled to do what’s right and watched others not even put up a fight for it.  It’s frustrating when we are daily working on doing better, being better, and not falling into temptation, then we see others who indulge in those sins and are still celebrated.  It’s easy to develop or fall into “OtherBrotherItis”.  Sometimes we feel the need to talk about all the mistakes they’re making, and draw attention to their mistakes, so that our “righteousness” stands out more.  Sometimes we start justifying more sin for ourselves (because if they can get by with it, so can we).  This is something that can really damage our spiritual life.

When the brother shared His frustration with his father, the response from the father was “you are always with me, and everything that is mine is yours”, which I’m sure wasn’t comforting in the frustration of the moment.  The father’s response was basically to say, “Yes.  I appreciate you and you have your own rewards for your faithfulness,” but He was saying that his love for a flawed prodigal son was just as great.  It didn’t take away from his love for the faithful son, and God is saying the same to us.  Our faithfulness is not something that God compares to others’ as a reference tool.  He deals with us individually.  To try to come up with a system or equation to compare everyone, we would have to eliminate grace and all the cross did for us, and go back to the law... and none of us can live without that grace.  We are all different, and God deals with us accordingly.

God doesn’t grade on a curve.  His standards for us are His standards for us.  We will all fall short; it’s not the mistakes of others that will validate us, or the righteousness of others that will condemn us.  We’re saved by grace, and as Ephesians 2:8 says, it’s not something we earned, it’s a GIFT from GOD.  It would drive us insane to have to earn  or “compete” for the favor and acceptance of God.  We can’t make Him love us more and we can’t make Him love us less.  He loves us and there’s nothing we can do about it.

The lesson most often seen here is the one for the sinner, that God loves you and is eagerly waiting for your return.  The lesson is not to tell you how wrong you’ve been or to condemn you, but to let you know that He welcomes you and wants to be in your life (which, if you’ve ever experienced, is humbling all in itself).  BUT, the lesson in this for those of us who are in the body of Christ, trying to do what is right (the other brother/sister), is not to compare your level of faithfulness or righteousness to others.  Do what you are called to do, and receive your reward; and don’t get caught up in trying to decide who does or does not deserve God’s love, grace, acceptance.  While we were still sinners, Jesus died for us (Romans 5:8), so who are we to differentiate?

Your relationship with God is just that, your relationship with God.  He will not judge you more harshly because of how faithful Mother Theresa was, and he will not judge your sinful brother more harshly because of how faithful you were.  Don’t let His grace for someone else that you deem undeserving skew your view of the grace He’s had with you. That’s a quick way to find yourself being ungrateful for the best thing that ever happened to you.  We shouldn’t focus on the flaws and failures of our brothers and sisters in Christ, we should celebrate their victories and be rooting for them every step of the way.

Daily Bread

The longer you are a Christian, the easier it gets to feel like you have stored up wisdom and knowledge for every situation.  It’s easy, when facing a new mountain or valley, to feel like you don’t need to seek God about it, because you’ve already trusted Him before and learned that lesson.

One thing that God has really been speaking to my heart about lately is “daily bread”.  For Jesus to put that in His prayer prototype (the Lord’s prayer, Jesus’ example of how we should pray), it’s gotta be significant.  I just always took it as “give us what we need”; & missed the emphasis on today.

When Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, deliverance had come!  But in what form?  They were a million strong and walking through a desert.  Not a land of plenty, but a desert.  God provided for them, but not in an outpouring that left them with more than enough for the future.  He gave them plenty for that day.  If they tried to save it for tomorrow, it would rot.  God knows our human nature, and if we have what we need, we forget Him.  He wanted the Israelites to have to rely on Him daily for their food, for their LIVES.

There are people in the world who are trusting God for food daily, but most who will read this will not be.  Most of us have a hard time turning to God even for the big situations in our lives, let alone crying out to Him daily for our lives.  God wants to give us our “daily bread”, and too often we’d rather scrounge for crumbs of what He gave us yesterday, or last month, or last year, than to seek Him again.  I don’t know why we do it... I don’t even know why I do it.  I do know that it’s something that I’ve been made aware of in my life.  Seeking God for TODAY, and living off of what He’s given me fresh for TODAY.

God really desires a daily relationship.  We can’t pray or worship on Sundays enough for Him to be content for the week.  It wouldn’t matter how great of a date night Alex and I had on a weekend; if for the rest of the week he ignored me, I would feel like our relationship was failing.  God doesn’t give us “daily” bread because He’s not sure if He wants us to be fed tomorrow, but because He insists on having a daily relationship with us.  I don’t know why we are intimidated by that, why we’d rather “save up”... I guess cause the idea of continually having to trust God for what we need can seem exhausting.  We want to KNOW that it’s all taken care of.  That’s where faith comes in.  “Give us this day our daily bread” is not in the prayer to remind God that we need Him, but to remind us.  The asking is for us, not for Him.

For me, in action, I’m trying to apply this by looking to God for insight daily.  As anyone in my life knows, I’m in a season where I’m trusting God for big things, but I’m working to trust Him for my “bread” (encouragement, insight, revelation, strength, peace, joy... healing) DAILY.  I think it’s something we all could learn, and continue learning.  Trust God  today for what you need today.  Thank Him for all He’s already done, but don’t live off of yesterday’s bread.  

The Art of Gaining Perspective

Day 2 of blog devotion and here I am, at 1:45am all hopped up on sweet tea and determined to actually do this.

If you know me well, you know I’m a person who doesn’t open up to a lot of people about my personal issues.  I’ll tell anyone my history and most of what God has brought me through, but if you ask me about unresolved feelings that still need to be worked through, or something that is currently bothering me, there’s a good chance I’ll quickly find a way to reel the conversation in and give you a very general and positive answer.  Why?  Because I’ve made enough mistakes listening to misguided advice, had times where I felt (unjustly) validated by people who sympathized with me when I was wrong, and because I’ve been opened up to my share of unsolicited advice.  Don’t get me wrong, wisdom and guidance is necessary in life, but I’ve learned that (a) God needs to be the first One that I vent to with my negative feelings and (b) I need to choose wisely who I share my weakness with.

The funny part about the former is that a lot of times, if we take our negativity to God first, it will often turn around and we won’t feel like we want to keep talking about it.  There’s something about the presence of God that humbles us and adds perspective.  I know for me, no matter how frustrated or upset I am, as I begin talking to Him about it, and talk through what I’m feeling, I’m always reminded of His goodness.  God’s goodness is a revelation that we could receive daily and still not fully understand, but that’s a different topic.  I can go from a time of “God, I CAN’T TAKE THIS”, work my way into “be with me and help me deal with this” and eventually find my way (in that same conversation with God) to “You have carried me through so many tough times, and I know You will carry me through this.  You are my strength and I trust You”.  It seems like David had the same experience, cause in Psalms he seems to go through the same process, starting a chapter with “how long will you forget me?  how long will you hide your face from me?” working his way through his frustration into “but I trust in your unfailing love” and then to “I will rejoice because you have rescued me... I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me”.  If you take your frustration to God, you’re able to work through it and get some perspective.

Back to the part about choosing wisely who we do confide in, most of us learn this the hard way.  Whether it’s by telling someone who judges you and gossips about you; or whether you just want a listening ear and that person feels free to give strong opinions into your very personal situations.  People’s insensitivity or over-simplification of deep-rooted problem can be really hurtful.  I know for me, I’ve even complained to people who sympathized with my frustration and agreed with me instead of telling me that I was wrong and needed to change my attitude.  I feel like if I’m going to get advice, I need to get it from someone with more wisdom and experience than me, also someone that I can trust.  Find someone who knows you and will hold you accountable, but will be understanding and do it all in love.  It has to be someone you respect and esteem highly, or else you will resist their tough love.  It’s important to have someone in your life that you’ll allow to put you in check and bring you back to reality.

I’ve got a few of those people in my life, that I know I can look to for encouragement, love, and honesty.  People that know me (my strengths, my shortcomings, my history, and my heart).  I’m so thankful for those people, and even more thankful for a God that makes sense of my confusion, and brings peace to my chaos.

Fresh Start At Growth!

Ahhhh.  My Blog.  If it were a boyfriend, it would have dumped me.  In 2011 I had hoped to blog more.  I feel like any justification of why I didn’t will turn into a “what had happened was...” story, so I won’t bother making excuses.  I plan to try to do better this year.  Not because I’m convinced I have a wealth of readers and blog traffic, but because putting my thoughts together in this way is good for me in the moment (to learn from), and good for me later on,  to re-read and reflect on.  Reading old entries reminds me of the things that God spoke to my heart about.  Things that in the moment I was so passionate about, and over time have become less sensitive to.  Basic truths that become revelation only to be suppressed for the next big idea.  Hopefully more writing and reflection will equal cumulative growth and not just whatever my lesson of the week is for myself.

Right now, the lesson I feel like I’m learning again is something that sounds so simple:  We’re responsible for who we are.  We’re responsible for our actions.  We’re responsible for the things we say and do and the things we don’t.  Moving back home has caused me to face things and people that were the source of my childhood trials.  It’s caused me to relive some of the things that I’ve been able to distance myself from through the years.  It’s amazing how seeing someone (or hearing the voice of someone) who used to have a negative effect on you can bring back those same feelings, no matter how far you think you’ve come.  For me, as an adult with a different life, it’s been a challenge not to pick up my same baggage and revert back. This is interesting for me, because I’ve considered myself to be very well adjusted and not someone who uses my past experiences as a crutch; but old emotions can easily sneak back in.

Me, myself, I’m focusing on putting aside every exception and excuse not to change the things I need to work on.  Not just for 2012, but for good.  I’m working on having peace and not letting my peace be shaken by other people and their life’s choices, while still walking in love and compassion (tough balance to find).  I’m working on knowing the difference between discernment and snap-judgments.  I’m working on thinking on good things, and once again, trusting God in the big things and small.

I think it’s so important for us to acknowledge the areas we need work.  And begin the acknowledge the slip-ups, and the opportunities to do better the next time.  Change doesn’t happen because we say it should, it happens when we start taking the baby steps toward being better.  Not making that comment we really want to make.  Not going to speak to that person that we know will make excuses for our slip-ups, but the person who will understand and encourage us to work on it.  Change is not comfortable.  It’s usually not easy.  BUT it’s necessary.

Think about how you dealt with conflict as a child.  When your parents told you “no”, or your big brother picked on you.  How would you look if you dealt with your grown up problems the way you dealt with those childhood ones?  Silly.  Sometimes we do it in less obvious ways, mask our “tantrum” or immaturity in some superficial adult behavior.

We are creatures that grow and evolve, and if we stop growing, we fall behind.  For myself, I’m just working on pushing myself forward.  Not in the visible ways, because it’s easier to fix the things you know people will notice... but tackling personal things that need to change, and pushing forward.  God has brought me so far, and it’s not so I could consider myself perfected “enough” and rest like this, but so that I could keep moving forward.  I’m so thankful for all I have, and the best way to show it is to grow into the person He wants me to be!

So, hopefully this is the first of many blogs; the continual documentation of growth.  It’s one thing to know what’s right and an entirely different thing to do it.