Sunday, September 23, 2012

the gift of “I was wrong"

Something about our generation has brought a sense of apathy that is hard to understand.  Humility and respect are not taught the way that they were to generations before us.  It’s really obvious when it comes to our lack of commitment (I’m not talking about just relationships, but honoring our word and following through).  Everything is about what’s convenient for us, and what’s comfortable.  We’re great at excuses.  

We don’t have as much respect for others as we should, and it’s a shame.  We’ve been taught confidence, and feeling good about ourselves (which is good, to an extent) but left out the part about humility and life lessons.  It’s made us people who aren’t teachable and aren’t willing to humble ourselves and apologize.  And THAT is a terrible problem in our relationships with both people, and with God.

I get so tired of hearing phrases like “Never regret anything that once made you smile” and “Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted”.  It sounds good, and makes sense to us because we’ve lost perspective and don’t see the value in apologies anymore.  It IS important to “live and learn” but if that is how we approach our mistakes, we are missing the part of the process that grows our character the most... the part where we acknowledge that we’re wrong and move forward, trying not the repeat the mistake.

We don’t think our mistakes are that serious, but a mistake is a mistake.  To say we don’t regret it is to say we’re not sorry.  To say we’re not sorry is to say we would do it that way again.  Can you imagine how wrong it would feel to hear a murderer say “I did it, but I don’t regret it”?  It would not sit well, because we want other people to be sorry when they hurt us, or someone else.  We want to know that they are sorry and wouldn’t do it again, if given the chance.  A lot of us say that about our past, ways we’ve hurt people, and the ways we’ve sinned against God.  Grace is free, but it’s conditional, based on our repentance.  It doesn’t matter that it’s done and you can’t change it, it’s still important that we humble yourself and repent.  

If it wasn’t important, God wouldn’t put so much emphasis on repentance.  He’s GOD.  He is all knowing.  He knows our thoughts and whether or not we regret the ways we hurt people, and the ways we sin against Him; but He still asks that we confess our sins and repent of them.  HE ALREADY KNOWS, so why would He ask us to confess and repent?  Because it’s important for OUR spiritual life.  And with people, it’s important to apologize too, not just for other them, but for ourselves.  We won’t grow from our mistakes if we won’t acknowledge we were wrong.  It’s not about putting on sackcloth and beating yourself up, it’s about acknowledging it, and moving forward striving to not repeat the offense.  Regret is only a bad thing if it becomes our focus and keeps us from moving forward.  The right kind of regret, the kind that is tied to true repentance, propels us forward better than we started out.

That’s all I’m saying.  It doesn’t come naturally all the time.  If you’re not an apologizer, becoming one can be a long, humbling process; but it’s one that makes you a better and stronger version of yourself.  It’s easier for people to trust you when you’re honest about your mistakes.  We’re all a work in progress.  Mistakes aren’t what defines your character, it’s how you deal with them in moving forward that defines you.

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