If you know me well, you know I’m a person who doesn’t open up to a lot of people about my personal issues. I’ll tell anyone my history and most of what God has brought me through, but if you ask me about unresolved feelings that still need to be worked through, or something that is currently bothering me, there’s a good chance I’ll quickly find a way to reel the conversation in and give you a very general and positive answer. Why? Because I’ve made enough mistakes listening to misguided advice, had times where I felt (unjustly) validated by people who sympathized with me when I was wrong, and because I’ve been opened up to my share of unsolicited advice. Don’t get me wrong, wisdom and guidance is necessary in life, but I’ve learned that (a) God needs to be the first One that I vent to with my negative feelings and (b) I need to choose wisely who I share my weakness with.
The funny part about the former is that a lot of times, if we take our negativity to God first, it will often turn around and we won’t feel like we want to keep talking about it. There’s something about the presence of God that humbles us and adds perspective. I know for me, no matter how frustrated or upset I am, as I begin talking to Him about it, and talk through what I’m feeling, I’m always reminded of His goodness. God’s goodness is a revelation that we could receive daily and still not fully understand, but that’s a different topic. I can go from a time of “God, I CAN’T TAKE THIS”, work my way into “be with me and help me deal with this” and eventually find my way (in that same conversation with God) to “You have carried me through so many tough times, and I know You will carry me through this. You are my strength and I trust You”. It seems like David had the same experience, cause in Psalms he seems to go through the same process, starting a chapter with “how long will you forget me? how long will you hide your face from me?” working his way through his frustration into “but I trust in your unfailing love” and then to “I will rejoice because you have rescued me... I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me”. If you take your frustration to God, you’re able to work through it and get some perspective.
Back to the part about choosing wisely who we do confide in, most of us learn this the hard way. Whether it’s by telling someone who judges you and gossips about you; or whether you just want a listening ear and that person feels free to give strong opinions into your very personal situations. People’s insensitivity or over-simplification of deep-rooted problem can be really hurtful. I know for me, I’ve even complained to people who sympathized with my frustration and agreed with me instead of telling me that I was wrong and needed to change my attitude. I feel like if I’m going to get advice, I need to get it from someone with more wisdom and experience than me, also someone that I can trust. Find someone who knows you and will hold you accountable, but will be understanding and do it all in love. It has to be someone you respect and esteem highly, or else you will resist their tough love. It’s important to have someone in your life that you’ll allow to put you in check and bring you back to reality.
I’ve got a few of those people in my life, that I know I can look to for encouragement, love, and honesty. People that know me (my strengths, my shortcomings, my history, and my heart). I’m so thankful for those people, and even more thankful for a God that makes sense of my confusion, and brings peace to my chaos.
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