Contaminated Christianity

I've been thinking a lot lately about Christianity. Not just mine... Christianity as a whole. I've been thinking about the view of it that people who are/aren't a part of it take. I've been thinking about the way that many of us represent it more as an elite club one must jump through hoops to be an honorable part of. I've been thinking about what it's supposed to mean about those of us who are a part of it, that we are "little Christ"s, or imitators of Christ. I've been thinking about how in Springfield, the "Bible Belt" of the United States, we are so religious-minded and quick to condemn, saying and believing things like "God hates homosexuals" and other lies (I'm aware that many "christians" say that all over the country, but just that this is where I am and where I've seen it). To be honest, I can't imagine many things that God would hate more than putting our own hateful words in His mouth when talking to other people, and misrepresenting a God of love to be a God of hate. I was thinking about how when we decide that we are going to be Christians, we wear the name of Christ on our hearts, and on our lives... and it forces me to evaluate... do I wear it well? 

I've seen more of my friends turned away from God because of condemnation then I can count on both hands. I'm not saying that we should tiptoe around as Christians and say that things are okay with us that aren't. Let's be honest, the rest of the world doesn't neglect to stand up for what they believe, so why should we? I'm saying that when we stand for a God of love, how on earth do we expect to convey that with messages of hate. Jesus died on the cross for US. For OUR sins. To tell any person that God hates them because of their sin, is to block them from knowing and understanding the beautiful thing that God did, in sending His son... FOR LOVE. It has burdened my heart lately to see the view so many of us have taken.


The truth is, it seems that the majority of our generation (the majority, not the whole) fall into two categories: either completely doctrine spitting, hate preaching Christians or the kind of Christians that believe that nothing is wrong and all forms of living are fine. It's okay to stand for what we do, we just can't do it in a condemning fashion, without love. The bible says that "If I speak in the tongues of men of angels, but have not love, I'm only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal".... meaning it doesn't matter what you're saying, if you're not saying it in love, you're just making noise. The truth is neither side is right. 

I don't know how the former even believe in God. If they've ever sinned in their life, and they can tell anyone that God hates them, then they must have a very fickle image of who God is. They must be sad inside and constantly feeling like they must EARN their salvation. And for the latter, they are wrong as well. As important as it is to be accepting of every person, we also must recognize the importance of not tainting the Word of God to subjective interpretation and justifying every kind of sin. Homosexuality is sin, but it's no more a sin than pre-marital sex, lying, or even dishonoring our parents. Many people want to treat it like it's a disease, or greater cause for punishment and alienate it as a separate kind of sin. IT'S NOT. God loves a homosexual person every bit as He loves me. And for us to cast ANYONE away because WE don't think they deserve His love is like saying that the cross was big enough to cover our sin, but not theirs. It's like saying God's grace isn't enough to cover homosexuality. I know I've talked a lot about homosexuality, but it's because I recently ran into a horrible example of what Christianity is, in the form of someone holding a "God hates homosexuals" sign... and it was heartbreaking. Like the people below holding these signs.  Even worse, children.  This is what some Christians are teaching their children.  It’s awful teaching your children to tell anyone that God hates them, and equally awful to teach your kids that’s who God is, a God who hates you if you are a sinner.  Please forgive the extreme nature of the photo and words used, it was just too alarming not to pass on, for me.

It reminds me of Angela, off of "the Office". Anyone who knows that show knows she is the stereotypical religious, hateful Christian. She tosses around the names, "whore" and "slut" and was horrible to the man that came out of the closet. It's funny when you watch her, but it's how so many of us operate. I was just thinking about it recently, and remembered that it was never when speaking to the "sinners" that Jesus lost His temper; it was at the people in the temple who were supposed to be Godly and were misusing the house of God. All that being said, I think any of us who wear the title of "Christian", be it in our everyday life or just on our facebook, need to be conscious of who we are representing God to be. That He's a God of relationship, not just rules.

OtherBrotherItis: The Non-Prodigal Son

Soooo, in reading my devotional the other day it directed me to Luke 15... the section known to be “the Prodigal Son” story.  The story isn’t about the Prodigal Son though.  It doesn’t tell the tale of “a man with a father and a big brother”, but the story starts “there was a man with two sons”.  The story isn’t just about the prodigal son, it’s about the father and his love for his two (very different) sons.  Great story, one that is widely used to illustrate God’s forgiveness, acceptance, and His unconditional, fatherly love.  So I read the part that my devotional suggested; then I moved on to the part after that, the part that is less often told... the part about *dun dun dunnnnn* the other brother!  

If you feel so compelled, go read the story.  The well-known part is verse 11-24, but the part I’m referring to starts in verse 25.  If you don’t have a bible handy, and getting it out is more than you bargained for when you opened this link, I’ll give you the skinny:  The prodigal son returns to his father after running away and shaming the family.  He’s dirty, poor, and he stinks, and the father is waiting for him on the front porch, embraces him, clothes him in some nice things (restoring honor) and then begins a celebration.  The other brother, who is in the field WORKING at the time, hears the music and dancing, and then is informed of the celebration of his estranged brother’s return.

Imagine the frustration of this brother.  He was the faithful one.  He stayed.  He worked. He did what a son should do.  He probably had his own sense of hurt and abandonment from his brother’s absence.  Not to mention he probably had twice as much responsibility on him because his brother went rogue and wasn’t there; but he, the faithful brother had never been celebrated like this.  So his lazy, irresponsible (embarrassing) brother returns and gets what seems like more love and appreciation than he got for doing the right thing.  For being faithful.

I think it’s easy to relate to this brother.  I think it’s easy for any of us who have struggled to do what’s right and watched others not even put up a fight for it.  It’s frustrating when we are daily working on doing better, being better, and not falling into temptation, then we see others who indulge in those sins and are still celebrated.  It’s easy to develop or fall into “OtherBrotherItis”.  Sometimes we feel the need to talk about all the mistakes they’re making, and draw attention to their mistakes, so that our “righteousness” stands out more.  Sometimes we start justifying more sin for ourselves (because if they can get by with it, so can we).  This is something that can really damage our spiritual life.

When the brother shared His frustration with his father, the response from the father was “you are always with me, and everything that is mine is yours”, which I’m sure wasn’t comforting in the frustration of the moment.  The father’s response was basically to say, “Yes.  I appreciate you and you have your own rewards for your faithfulness,” but He was saying that his love for a flawed prodigal son was just as great.  It didn’t take away from his love for the faithful son, and God is saying the same to us.  Our faithfulness is not something that God compares to others’ as a reference tool.  He deals with us individually.  To try to come up with a system or equation to compare everyone, we would have to eliminate grace and all the cross did for us, and go back to the law... and none of us can live without that grace.  We are all different, and God deals with us accordingly.

God doesn’t grade on a curve.  His standards for us are His standards for us.  We will all fall short; it’s not the mistakes of others that will validate us, or the righteousness of others that will condemn us.  We’re saved by grace, and as Ephesians 2:8 says, it’s not something we earned, it’s a GIFT from GOD.  It would drive us insane to have to earn  or “compete” for the favor and acceptance of God.  We can’t make Him love us more and we can’t make Him love us less.  He loves us and there’s nothing we can do about it.

The lesson most often seen here is the one for the sinner, that God loves you and is eagerly waiting for your return.  The lesson is not to tell you how wrong you’ve been or to condemn you, but to let you know that He welcomes you and wants to be in your life (which, if you’ve ever experienced, is humbling all in itself).  BUT, the lesson in this for those of us who are in the body of Christ, trying to do what is right (the other brother/sister), is not to compare your level of faithfulness or righteousness to others.  Do what you are called to do, and receive your reward; and don’t get caught up in trying to decide who does or does not deserve God’s love, grace, acceptance.  While we were still sinners, Jesus died for us (Romans 5:8), so who are we to differentiate?

Your relationship with God is just that, your relationship with God.  He will not judge you more harshly because of how faithful Mother Theresa was, and he will not judge your sinful brother more harshly because of how faithful you were.  Don’t let His grace for someone else that you deem undeserving skew your view of the grace He’s had with you. That’s a quick way to find yourself being ungrateful for the best thing that ever happened to you.  We shouldn’t focus on the flaws and failures of our brothers and sisters in Christ, we should celebrate their victories and be rooting for them every step of the way.

Daily Bread

The longer you are a Christian, the easier it gets to feel like you have stored up wisdom and knowledge for every situation.  It’s easy, when facing a new mountain or valley, to feel like you don’t need to seek God about it, because you’ve already trusted Him before and learned that lesson.

One thing that God has really been speaking to my heart about lately is “daily bread”.  For Jesus to put that in His prayer prototype (the Lord’s prayer, Jesus’ example of how we should pray), it’s gotta be significant.  I just always took it as “give us what we need”; & missed the emphasis on today.

When Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, deliverance had come!  But in what form?  They were a million strong and walking through a desert.  Not a land of plenty, but a desert.  God provided for them, but not in an outpouring that left them with more than enough for the future.  He gave them plenty for that day.  If they tried to save it for tomorrow, it would rot.  God knows our human nature, and if we have what we need, we forget Him.  He wanted the Israelites to have to rely on Him daily for their food, for their LIVES.

There are people in the world who are trusting God for food daily, but most who will read this will not be.  Most of us have a hard time turning to God even for the big situations in our lives, let alone crying out to Him daily for our lives.  God wants to give us our “daily bread”, and too often we’d rather scrounge for crumbs of what He gave us yesterday, or last month, or last year, than to seek Him again.  I don’t know why we do it... I don’t even know why I do it.  I do know that it’s something that I’ve been made aware of in my life.  Seeking God for TODAY, and living off of what He’s given me fresh for TODAY.

God really desires a daily relationship.  We can’t pray or worship on Sundays enough for Him to be content for the week.  It wouldn’t matter how great of a date night Alex and I had on a weekend; if for the rest of the week he ignored me, I would feel like our relationship was failing.  God doesn’t give us “daily” bread because He’s not sure if He wants us to be fed tomorrow, but because He insists on having a daily relationship with us.  I don’t know why we are intimidated by that, why we’d rather “save up”... I guess cause the idea of continually having to trust God for what we need can seem exhausting.  We want to KNOW that it’s all taken care of.  That’s where faith comes in.  “Give us this day our daily bread” is not in the prayer to remind God that we need Him, but to remind us.  The asking is for us, not for Him.

For me, in action, I’m trying to apply this by looking to God for insight daily.  As anyone in my life knows, I’m in a season where I’m trusting God for big things, but I’m working to trust Him for my “bread” (encouragement, insight, revelation, strength, peace, joy... healing) DAILY.  I think it’s something we all could learn, and continue learning.  Trust God  today for what you need today.  Thank Him for all He’s already done, but don’t live off of yesterday’s bread.  

The Art of Gaining Perspective

Day 2 of blog devotion and here I am, at 1:45am all hopped up on sweet tea and determined to actually do this.

If you know me well, you know I’m a person who doesn’t open up to a lot of people about my personal issues.  I’ll tell anyone my history and most of what God has brought me through, but if you ask me about unresolved feelings that still need to be worked through, or something that is currently bothering me, there’s a good chance I’ll quickly find a way to reel the conversation in and give you a very general and positive answer.  Why?  Because I’ve made enough mistakes listening to misguided advice, had times where I felt (unjustly) validated by people who sympathized with me when I was wrong, and because I’ve been opened up to my share of unsolicited advice.  Don’t get me wrong, wisdom and guidance is necessary in life, but I’ve learned that (a) God needs to be the first One that I vent to with my negative feelings and (b) I need to choose wisely who I share my weakness with.

The funny part about the former is that a lot of times, if we take our negativity to God first, it will often turn around and we won’t feel like we want to keep talking about it.  There’s something about the presence of God that humbles us and adds perspective.  I know for me, no matter how frustrated or upset I am, as I begin talking to Him about it, and talk through what I’m feeling, I’m always reminded of His goodness.  God’s goodness is a revelation that we could receive daily and still not fully understand, but that’s a different topic.  I can go from a time of “God, I CAN’T TAKE THIS”, work my way into “be with me and help me deal with this” and eventually find my way (in that same conversation with God) to “You have carried me through so many tough times, and I know You will carry me through this.  You are my strength and I trust You”.  It seems like David had the same experience, cause in Psalms he seems to go through the same process, starting a chapter with “how long will you forget me?  how long will you hide your face from me?” working his way through his frustration into “but I trust in your unfailing love” and then to “I will rejoice because you have rescued me... I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me”.  If you take your frustration to God, you’re able to work through it and get some perspective.

Back to the part about choosing wisely who we do confide in, most of us learn this the hard way.  Whether it’s by telling someone who judges you and gossips about you; or whether you just want a listening ear and that person feels free to give strong opinions into your very personal situations.  People’s insensitivity or over-simplification of deep-rooted problem can be really hurtful.  I know for me, I’ve even complained to people who sympathized with my frustration and agreed with me instead of telling me that I was wrong and needed to change my attitude.  I feel like if I’m going to get advice, I need to get it from someone with more wisdom and experience than me, also someone that I can trust.  Find someone who knows you and will hold you accountable, but will be understanding and do it all in love.  It has to be someone you respect and esteem highly, or else you will resist their tough love.  It’s important to have someone in your life that you’ll allow to put you in check and bring you back to reality.

I’ve got a few of those people in my life, that I know I can look to for encouragement, love, and honesty.  People that know me (my strengths, my shortcomings, my history, and my heart).  I’m so thankful for those people, and even more thankful for a God that makes sense of my confusion, and brings peace to my chaos.

Fresh Start At Growth!

Ahhhh.  My Blog.  If it were a boyfriend, it would have dumped me.  In 2011 I had hoped to blog more.  I feel like any justification of why I didn’t will turn into a “what had happened was...” story, so I won’t bother making excuses.  I plan to try to do better this year.  Not because I’m convinced I have a wealth of readers and blog traffic, but because putting my thoughts together in this way is good for me in the moment (to learn from), and good for me later on,  to re-read and reflect on.  Reading old entries reminds me of the things that God spoke to my heart about.  Things that in the moment I was so passionate about, and over time have become less sensitive to.  Basic truths that become revelation only to be suppressed for the next big idea.  Hopefully more writing and reflection will equal cumulative growth and not just whatever my lesson of the week is for myself.

Right now, the lesson I feel like I’m learning again is something that sounds so simple:  We’re responsible for who we are.  We’re responsible for our actions.  We’re responsible for the things we say and do and the things we don’t.  Moving back home has caused me to face things and people that were the source of my childhood trials.  It’s caused me to relive some of the things that I’ve been able to distance myself from through the years.  It’s amazing how seeing someone (or hearing the voice of someone) who used to have a negative effect on you can bring back those same feelings, no matter how far you think you’ve come.  For me, as an adult with a different life, it’s been a challenge not to pick up my same baggage and revert back. This is interesting for me, because I’ve considered myself to be very well adjusted and not someone who uses my past experiences as a crutch; but old emotions can easily sneak back in.

Me, myself, I’m focusing on putting aside every exception and excuse not to change the things I need to work on.  Not just for 2012, but for good.  I’m working on having peace and not letting my peace be shaken by other people and their life’s choices, while still walking in love and compassion (tough balance to find).  I’m working on knowing the difference between discernment and snap-judgments.  I’m working on thinking on good things, and once again, trusting God in the big things and small.

I think it’s so important for us to acknowledge the areas we need work.  And begin the acknowledge the slip-ups, and the opportunities to do better the next time.  Change doesn’t happen because we say it should, it happens when we start taking the baby steps toward being better.  Not making that comment we really want to make.  Not going to speak to that person that we know will make excuses for our slip-ups, but the person who will understand and encourage us to work on it.  Change is not comfortable.  It’s usually not easy.  BUT it’s necessary.

Think about how you dealt with conflict as a child.  When your parents told you “no”, or your big brother picked on you.  How would you look if you dealt with your grown up problems the way you dealt with those childhood ones?  Silly.  Sometimes we do it in less obvious ways, mask our “tantrum” or immaturity in some superficial adult behavior.

We are creatures that grow and evolve, and if we stop growing, we fall behind.  For myself, I’m just working on pushing myself forward.  Not in the visible ways, because it’s easier to fix the things you know people will notice... but tackling personal things that need to change, and pushing forward.  God has brought me so far, and it’s not so I could consider myself perfected “enough” and rest like this, but so that I could keep moving forward.  I’m so thankful for all I have, and the best way to show it is to grow into the person He wants me to be!

So, hopefully this is the first of many blogs; the continual documentation of growth.  It’s one thing to know what’s right and an entirely different thing to do it.

there’s much to be said for the “BUT"

1 Timothy 4:12, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.”

This is a verse that is widely used, because it easily empowers young people to not be afraid to step out and do big things for God, not letting their old hold them back.  The second half of the verse is not often a focal point for us, and even is a casualty to the dot-dot-dot every now and then:

(“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you’re young...”)

But it’s important for us young people not to get ahead of ourselves.  No, we shouldn’t let our age stop us from living a bold life for Christ, and we shouldn’t fear advancement/leadership that would be given to us just because we’re young; but often we use this verse in the opposite way it’s intended.  We use it in an arrogant way.  We use it in a way that enables us to reject the wisdom of those who have already been where we are.  The first part is important and inspiring, but the second part is more explanatory... it tells us HOW to do that.

Our young generation is known for thinking we know it all.  We get ourselves into trouble because often in forgetting to take the baby steps of spiritual growth, we are thrusted into being someone who has presented ourselves as this BIG AMAZING CHRISTIAN young person while we still haven't gone through the process of learning integrity and character.  This is where we get hypocrisy, and church scandals, and the things that give the church a bad name.  I’m not saying that is exclusively young people but we definitely contribute.  Much of the older generation sees us heading that direction and wants us to learn and grow in a way that helps us BE who we SAY we are.  Sometimes it may seem knit-picky-sometimes it is-but it’s our job (as Christians, especially if we intend on being any type of influence or leader) to improve our character so that we’re not mentoring people to repeat our flaws and mistakes.  To do this we have to RECOGNIZE that there is room for growth and we don’t, in fact, know EVERYTHING.

The second half of the verse is introduced with a “but”.  It’s significant that it’s not an “and”.  If it were an “and”, then that would mean the thoughts were parallel, or the same idea; but because it’s a “but”, that means that after the “don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young” comes a moment of reckoning and an opportunity to view the other side of the spectrum.  This is how we can rightfully not be looked down on because we’re young... be above reproach... we set the example.  Instead of feeling like a victim every time we are confronted about something in our character, we should see it as an opportunity to grow, and not continue to live oblivious to our flaws.  When we live with arrogance and are ignorant to our shortcomings, we invite others to find them for us; when we live humbly and acknowledge that we’re a work in progress and God is still teaching us, people are more likely to encourage us and root for us.


Don’t only be bold in your faith as a young person, but ALSO set the example:

in speech- stop with vulgar/perverse talk, gossip, and work on saying what is RIGHT.  think before you speak and train yourself to filter your words.  the same mouth should not yield blessings AND curses (James 3:10)
in life- live your life purposefully choosing to not raise questions about whether or not you are who you say you are.  live worthy of your calling (Ephesians 4:1-2)
in love- it doesn’t matter how righteous you are in everything you do, without love you’re not accomplishing anything.  ask God to help you fulfill the call to LOVE.  (1 Corinthians 13:1-8)
in faith- bottom line, if you’re constantly worrying and being dramatic about your life’s problems and situations, if you’re constantly a victim, you’re not trusting God.  people will be moved by the faith of someone who overcomes and gives God glory.  (Proverbs 3:5)  I know this to be true, because the greatest testimony of who God is to me is how I am able to be a happy and whole person in spite of what I’ve been through.
and in purity- this is a foreign concept to the world today, so if you’re living in purity, you will stand out.  purity is a battle, honestly (if anyone tells you it’s easy, they’re lying); but it’s so very telling of your spiritual life and your convictions.  if you can sacrifice your own gratifications and instincts, people see that you are doing whatever it takes to live for God.  on the contrary, if you can’t keep this in check, you’re not going to be able to teach others to.

Don’t just TELL others that they can’t assume your spiritually maturity level because you’re young, SHOW them by being unpredictable.  Go against the grain and be who you say you are.  Work on your character behind the scenes so you’re not humbled by the things that come to light about you.  Be humble, and honest that God’s still working in you so that your flaws aren’t a secret... that way people can learn from you even as you grow.

::Christians Who Hate Churches::

When it comes to Christians and my experience with the Christian world, I can sometimes get opinionated about the way we as a church should handle things; and whether in the form of a real life conversation, a tweet, a facebook status, or a blog, I am not too shy to address them.  

Seems like every time I bring up Christians, some people comment (people that don’t like churches and look for opportunities to justify staying away) brutal things that only discourage.  Some people wait, armed with bitterness, to attack the church anytime they see an opportunity.  It’s like Statler & Waldorf (Muppets), waiting with tomatoes to throw, with no intention of approving.  

This is the exact opposite of the goal for which I speak about the mistakes we (Christians/church people) make.  I share about it so that we Christians can remember or realize who and what we should be to this world, not so that angry people who consider themselves unattached, unassociated Christians can attack others and further their idea that we are fake and stay away.  Although I speak about the mistakes we make, I speak with love in my heart for the church.  

I am part of that “we”.  I am a member of the church and a Christian, and I know (better than most) the ins and outs of the church/Christian world.  I have seen some great mistakes and shortcomings of Christians and church leaders, and I’ve seen hypocrisy at it’s best, so I feel that no one can tell me that I don’t understand why they feel the way that they do about churches.  I can understand why someone who doesn’t consider themselves a Christian could hate churches based on their perspective; but for those of us who call ourselves Christians, we have not only the ability but the duty of loving and forgiving the church.

The bible, in several places, refers to the church as the bride of Christ, which illustrates how dear the church is to Jesus.  The bible never denies the problems in the church; as a matter of fact, it documents letter after letter where Paul writes the churches to correct them and instruct them.  No denial of the flaws, but over and over again the church is explained to be very precious to Christ himself.  Not flawless, but valued.  

The church has never been perfect and will never be, because no matter how much God is in it, (as long as people are still a part) it will remain blemished.  We will always fall short and we will always disappoint.  This is where it’s important to have a relationship with God that is not filtered through any spiritual leader or organization; because then your faith isn’t rocked when they (we) let you down.  And I hate to say it, but if you are spending your days angry and bitter at churches, then your spiritual life isn’t great, no matter what you feel.  God doesn’t want us to be weighed down by bitterness toward anyone, let alone something so important to Him.  To put it in perspective I think of my husband.  When you get married, two become one.  My heart is so tied in with his that there is no real separation, and if someone hates my husband, I not only have no relationship with them but I consider myself hated by them too.  You can’t be close to someone and hate such an important part of them, or the relationship becomes superficial.  You can’t love Jesus and hate the church.  

As long as there are people in the church, it will be flawed; but it’s our job as Christians to strive to be Christ-like.  We have to consider that everyone is a work in progress and accountable to God for it; and remember that we’ve all been the one who looked like a hypocrite at some point in our time as a Christian.  If you feel they’re fake in the church then go in there and show them what real looks like, but at some point you’ll find yourself being the one who is falling short.  Why?  Because it’s harder than it looks, following perfection.

But really though, bottom line:

1.  Jesus loves the church

2.  You and Him aren’t good if you don’t.

3.  Churches have bad, but they also do good.  It’s your choice which you dwell on.

Churches are made up of people who make mistakes, but there really is a great thing in there that God intended for us Christians to be connected to!  Honestly, I couldn’t tell my whole story in this post, but I can sum it up:  I grew up with a very poor example of what Christianity and church people were about, nonetheless, in church consistently.  I was bitter and very confused about it, but when I went through my teenage years and lost everything that was familiar and that I loved (and I don’t mean a boyfriend or friendship, the only family I’d known), God used the church to reach out to me and the people in it to be His hands and feet in my life.  The people that make up the church were my reminder that He hadn’t forgotten me and when there was no other reason for me to have any hope at all, I found belonging there that kept me from running to all of the wrong things to fill my voids.  

Time and time again I’ve seen things in the church that are discouraging and not right, but time after time I’ve seen the church come through and do what it’s supposed to do.  Too many people let the mistakes of a few drown out the good that is all throughout the body of Christ.  The church is family, and like your family, you love it through the tough times.  If you’re bitter and jaded, you need to ask God to deal with your heart because that’s not how He intends for you to live.  If you seriously can’t stand the church still, you need to humble yourself because your perspective of you (how great you are) is distorted.  We are ALL sinners saved by grace, and we are ALL a work in progress.  So bear with others, do your best to be a light, and leave the rest to God.  

Boom.  It’s that simple.  Not always easy, but that simple.